Are you surrounded by a**holes? Part 1.

First of all I’d like to say a big “Thank you” to the people following my blog, there are 20 of you at the moment (and not all of you are people I know personally) which makes it feel like an even better achievement. I’ll try to keep the content coming and read your blogs also. So thank you random internet people for reading my ramblings!


Have you heard of William Gibson? He wrote the cult science fiction book Neuromancer, countless other pieces of fiction and non-fiction and is also responsible for the following fantastic quote: “Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounding yourself with assholes.”


Are you surrounded by assholes? Take my quiz and find out (kidding, no quizzes here my friend!). Gibson’s quote resonates with me when I consider my own struggles with low mood and low self-esteem. When I feel low it’s easier to take things personally. Comments from poorly informed people: “You don’t look bipolar.” Sitting in all day for a package that never shows up. Having to chase after people who haven’t delivered on a promise (psych team, I’m eye balling you here). Comments that because I’m off with depression I should be sitting inside in a dark room instead of (heaven forbid) having a coffee with a friend or daring to visit the supermarket to buy food.


When you’re low, these small and rather insignificant events feel like a battle in a raging war. Why is this happening to me? What have I done to be such a terrible person that things never seem to work out? How can I stop being such an idiot so I no longer make mistakes?


The negative self talk goes on. The spiral begins and before you know it, you’ve thought your way from an okay 5/10 mood day to a terrible 2/10 day all because sometimes we are surrounded by people who are insensitive, ignorant and sometimes, just plain assholes.


So what do we do? Do we keep talking negatively to ourselves? No. No we do not. We recognise the assholes and we put their contribution right where it needs to be: the mental trash can.


In part 2 of this article (which I am aiming to release on Sunday only it’s not written yet), I will introduce some concepts around how to manage the assholes and bolster your self-esteem. Until then, please feel free to share your experiences of people acting like assholes in the comments below.


(Edit: I nearly wrote share your experience of assholes then realised that actually had an entirely different meaning and may attract a different readership entirely)


4 thoughts on “Are you surrounded by a**holes? Part 1.

  1. Alex August 14, 2018 / 9:12 pm

    I found I was constantly focusing on negatives worrying about things out of my control then I went to some Buddhism sessions and I realised there’s no point. When people are arseholes feel empathy towards them as what are they going through to make them act like that?! Xx


    • crazedandconfusedblog August 26, 2018 / 7:08 pm

      Oh Alex you are definitely on to something with the empathy (as you’ll see from part 2!). Thank you so much for commenting.


  2. Katharine August 14, 2018 / 10:04 pm

    I had similar issues – bumping into people from work in a coffee shop or the supermarket and feeling the need to explain or even apologise… WTF! It got to the point that I wouldn’t leave the house, which made everything significantly worse!! Tell the assholes where to stick it x


    • crazedandconfusedblog August 26, 2018 / 7:07 pm

      It’s difficult enough getting out of the house in the first place and then a negative reaction from a colleague makes you feel even worse and so much more likely to crawl back into the house and stay there! I hope you’re feeling better now.


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